March 12, 2010: We can find the season of peace — if we choose to, by Krystal Spangler

Each of us can find peace in our life.

We can come to a sense of belonging, when we quit fighting who we are. We find our peace when we learn to be happy with what we have, and when we become comfortable with who we are.

The dictionary defines peace as being freed from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; a state of tranquility or serenity.

Each of us has our own testament of what that definition means in our life.

A financially struggling parent finds her peace when she lets go of her troubles, maybe for just one day or possibly for the rest of her life, and enjoys the peace she finds in her family. A teenager finds peace when he forgets what his peers are saying about him at school and decides to live his life based on his own beliefs and values. A college student finds peace when she leave the protection and guidance of her parents’ home and develops her own abilities and morals.

No two people ever face the same exact circumstances with the same exact life experience, so each person’s state of peace is unique. Each person has to undergo his or her own changes and realizations to bring about a state of serenity.

Change can bring peace, but finding peace does not always bring change. An uptight businesswoman lets go of her need to control everything around her. She accepts her need for perfection as her own imperfection. The perfectionist comes to terms with her outrageous denial of mistakes. She obtains a state of tranquility because she’s able to accept herself for who she is. It doesn’t necessarily bring about change that everyone can see, but it gives her a happiness that she may not have had before.

Accepting yourself and not fighting who you are is the best way to find peace. Once you find peace, you do not always stay in a state of tranquility. People move in and out of peace, finding it at different times, leaving it at others.

Just as there are different seasons of life, so there are different times of peace.

Sometimes people must leave their state of rest in order to face obstacles or change from outside factors. If they’re lucky, though, they’ll find it again. Peace is not necessarily permanent — but it’s always possible.

— Krystal Spangler is a student at Cloud County Community College.

Spending spring break hard at work

Two college students and the director of campus ministry have spent their spring break hauling garbage, sorting through a basement, installing window blinds and doing whatever else was needed to help several Concordia residents.

The women are all from College of Saint Mary in Omaha, Neb., and all are here as part of the Sisters of St. Joseph Spring Break Alternative. In the program that began in 2003, the sisters’ volunteer office and vocation director work with the Concordia Community Resource Center to match the needs of local residents with the abilities of the college students who take part.

This year, the students are Patty Saavedra of Lima, Peru, who is a senior at the private Catholic women’s university, and Theresa Likens of Lincoln, Neb., who is a sophomore there. Martha Bonine is Saint Mary’s director of campus ministry.

Together with Sister Beverly Carlin, the congregation’s vocation director who lives in Manhattan, and Sister Julie Christensen of Concordia, they have spent the week doing chores and cleanup for three local residents, who were referred to them by the Resource Center.

For two mornings they also helped out with the Neighbor to Neighbor program that’s being held at the Motherhouse until the new center downtown opens this spring.

While taking part in the program, the women stay at the Nazareth Motherhouse and share meals and prayer with the sisters.

Messages Home: ‘Kiddos’ face tough transitions

Sisters, Agregees, Associates, Candidates and CSJ Friends,

Come, March 11, I will be completing a 13-week assignment in Junction City (Kan.) High School supporting and assisting the military affiliated kiddos within JCHS. Honestly, I believe that I have the very best ministry on this planet.

I continue to spend time with kiddos as they move into JCHS/Ft. Riley at any point in the school year. I listen and encourage them in the making of new friends, in getting adjusted to a new school environment, in seeking out their interests and hobbies in their new venue. Many kiddos have moved to and are adjusting to being with the other parent and step family. Many are also preparing to relocate due to the soldier’s upcoming assignment. It is not uncommon that my intent with a kiddo is to merely be with the child: to pose options which will boost the adjustment into a new school and locale.  Oftentimes, I offer encouragement which will help the child stay in school vs. drop-out or transfer to the alternative school. Such encouragement includes providing resources: who to ask for help with academics. I call this support with smooth moves.

Of course, there are then the unending issues related to having a parent leave the home to deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan for the first to fifth time; and/or, having the soldier return home with a whole new set of dynamics either within the home, or within the emotional or physical system of the individual soldier. I call these reintegration and deployment issues.

Pre-teens experience and feel the effects of being a part of military moves, adjustments; deployments and re-integrations; but teens seem to be impacted with an increased level of intensity. Teens have more difficulty changing friends and schools and activities.  Teens are often tasked with replacing the absent parent with care of younger siblings and increased responsibilities within the home in the midst of the deployment. Teens are highly attuned to the physical and emotional dangers of war; the experience of the soldier’s trauma upon returning from war, and the effect of the trauma upon the family.  It is not uncommon for a teen to intercept physical aggression between a family member and the soldier during re-integration.  The aggression may be triggered by quick movements; sharp sounds; the re-arrangement of the home during deployment; the family activity within the home, and/or the soldier’s shift of power from being deployed and in charge, to being a partner in a marriage and family.

Yes, for one such as I to support and assist a teen–a military kiddo during war time–is very special for me.  I do not have the much tougher job in the high school of tending to discipline, academics, or accuracy.  I try to support and assist the teachers and the staff in re-directing some of the “stuff” which wrangles the heart of a teen in the midst of the deployments, the relocations, and the new starts.

More often than not, my office is a hallway floor in the school where a kiddo and I sit for a few minutes to build trust and share heart.

• Jon, in time, lets me know that he is feeling more at ease in the new school with new friends and he is trying to stay in school and strengthen his focus on academics.  He was recently taken aback when his soldier-Dad, who literally rescued him over Christmas from the street life in another State, gave him a big hug and kiss in the recent week.  Jon wasn’t sure he could handle such tenderness from his Dad.
• Bree’s mom died unexpectedly over Christmas.  She is the oldest of four children. Soldier-Dad needs her to care for her siblings before and after school, and to tend to transporting them to activities.  Her grief, increased responsibilities in the home, and now being three months pregnant… Bree just wants to transfer to alternative school, graduate, and be done with her education.
• Zack is furious because each time his dad returns from Iraq; Dad is “crazier” than the prior deployment.  He is physically aggressive with his mom and him; he throws and breaks household furnishings; he likes to spend time with the persons with whom he was deployed. Zack’s own anger has resulted in him being transferred for a short time to the alternative school, in-school suspension because of his own acting out in school, and anger management classes.
• Lizzy deplores the emotional trauma her dad has tried to sustain upon his multiple returns from Iraq.  Her brother has recently returned from Iraq.  She has also lost her brother, emotionally, to the effect of war. Both Dad and brother are living at home with Mom and Lizzy.
• I tap on the classroom door of a kiddo, greet the teacher and ask if this is a good time to “say hello” to Mari.  As Mari and I head for my office on the hallway floor one of the students chime: “You’re in trouble.”

“No,” Mari says back. “This is the Brat Chat (in school support group) lady. Persons who meet with her are not in trouble.”

Thanks, Mari!  Well stated!

Loretta Jasper, csj

Fourth Week of Lent

Basic South American-style White Rice – Arroz Blanco

Prep Time: 25 minutes           Serves 4
Cook Time: 15 minutes

Ingredients:

2 to 3 cloves garlic
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 cups water
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup rice

Preparation:

1. Peel the garlic cloves, and mash them with a mortal and pestle until it’s well crushed.
2. Run water over the rice, and stir briefly, then drain water off. Repeat several times  until the water runs clear.
3. Heat the oil in a 2 quart saucepan on medium heat. Add the garlic and stir for 2 or 3  minutes, until the garlic turns clear and barely golden in color.
4. Add the water and the salt, and bring the water to a boil.
5. Add the rice to the boiling water and stir briefly. Cover, lower heat to medium-low,  and let cook for 15 minutes.
6. The rice should be fluffy and still appear slightly shiny and wet. If it appears too wet,  cook a few minutes more. If it appears dry, sprinkle couple of tablespoons more water over the rice. Turn off the heat and let stand, covered, for 5 minutes more.
7. Fluff rice with a fork and serve. Enjoy! Also keeps very well for the next day.

Black Beans (from Cuban cookbook – Cocina Criolla)

1 pound black beans
10 cups water
2 green peppers, de-seeded
2/3 cup olive oil (two-thirds cup)
1 large onion
6-8 cloves of garlic
4 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon dried oregano
2 bay leaves
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
2 tablespoons dry wine

Soak the beans in water overnight with one of the green peppers.  The following morning, cook the mixture in a large pot at medium-high heat for 45 minutes.  In a large skillet, heat the olive oil and add and sauté the onion, the second green pepper and the garlic, all finely chopped.  Add the contents of skillet to pot of beans.  Add the salt, black pepper, oregano, bay leaves and sugar and cook for another hour at a gentle boil.  Then add the vinegar and wine and simmer for another hour until done. Best served over white rice.

P.S. If you wish for the beans to be less juicy, simmer for a longer period – very tasty. (from a Kansas cook)

Three practices for the fourth week of Lent

• When we work together, we are stronger than when we work alone.  Find a way that you can cooperate and work more effectively with the people in your workplace, family, school or community and do it.
• Dale Carnegie said that the greatest need people have is for love and approval.  Praise, compliment and honor the uniqueness of at least five people today.
• Slow down and notice what is going on in the moment.  Become more conscious of nature, those around you and your own thoughts and feelings.

Poverty expert slated for workshop, lecture

When Donna Beegle tells her story, it sounds painfully familiar to those who work to address the causes of poverty in our country.

The child of poor migrant parents, Donna dropped out of high school at 15. By 25, she was the divorced and uneducated mother of two, facing homelessness.

Yet by 35, she had earned a Ph.D. and started her own business — and began telling her own story as a different way of helping people understand the reality of poverty.

“My education, my work and my passion are to help people from all races who are trapped in poverty,” Beegle explains. “I want them to have genuine options for lifelong success. This can only happen if the voices of those struggling with poverty can be heard and their perspectives understood.”

That’s part of the message she will bring to Concordia March 30, for a daytime workshop and an evening talk that is part of the Cook Lecture Series.

“Poverty 101,” Beegle’s workshop for professionals who work with people in poverty, begins at 9 a.m. at the Nazareth Motherhouse Auditoirum, and will conclude at 2 p.m. The cost for the day’s program is $20, which includes lunch.

Registration and payment are required by Monday, March 22; tickets will not be available at the door.

To register, call Sister Jean Rosemarynoski at 785-243-2149. Or, download this printable PDF and mail it and the $20 fee to the address listed on the form. The registration and payment must be received by March 22.

CEU credit is also available for the workshop. For information on receiving credit, call Holly Andrews at Cloud County Community College, 785-243-1435, ext. 371

Tuesday evening Beegle will speak at the Brown Grand Theatre in downtown Concordia as part of the Cook Lecture Series, sponsored by Cloud County Community College. That session begins at 7 p.m. and is free and open to the public.

After earning a GED, Beegle went on to receive bachelor’s and master’s degrees in communications. In 2000, she completed her doctorate in education leadership at Portland (Ore.) State University, where she taught speech communication courses for eight years.

Today she is president of Communication Across Barriers, a consulting firm in the Portland, Ore., area devoted to improving communication and relationships. Donna is also founder and CEO of PovertyBridge, a nonprofit organization dedicated to changing lives for people in poverty.

She is also the author of “See Poverty, Be The Difference,” a resource book for professionals who work with people in poverty, and is a nationally recognized speaker, discussion leader and trainer on topics of poverty.

Her workshop and lecture in Concordia are sponsored by  the Sisters of St. Joseph and the college.

Sisters celebrate CSJ Associates

The Sisters of St. Joseph gathered Saturday afternoon to welcome a new CSJ Associate, while renewing the commitment of eight other associates to the congregation. Also taking part in the ceremony were two candidates to become associates and two others — called “inquirers” — who have taken the first step in the process.

The simple but solemn ceremony at the Motherhouse ended the annual weekend associate retreat, held at Manna House of Prayer.

CSJ Associates are Christian men and women from all walks of life who are committed to Gospel values and are drawn by the charism, spirituality and mission of the Sisters of St. Joseph. They meet regularly for prayer and sharing either in groups or one-on-one.

Currently, there are associate members in cities throughout Kansas, as well as Missouri, New Mexico, Texas and Oklahoma.

Joining the congregation Saturday as its newest associate was Nancy Welsh of Topeka.

The two new candidates were Jane Christensen and Myrna Shelton, both of Concordia.

Each received a copy of the “Maxims of the Little Institute” and will spend the next seven to 12 months studying the charism, spirituality, history and mission of the congregation, praying with the associate community and preparing to make a commitment to live the mission of a CSJ Associate.

The two “inquirers” were Rosalita Flax of Ness City, Kan., and Jayne Prior of Overland Park, Kan. Over a period of about five months, each woman will attend monthly meetings with a sponsor in order to discern whether she is being called by God to be an associate of the Sisters of St. Joseph.

The CSJ Associates renewing their commitments were:

Carol Arts of Concordia.

Amber Charbonneau of Oklahoma.

Rita Collette of Concordia.

Stephanie Hudson of Kansas City, Mo.

Susan LeDuc of Ames, Kan.

Kathy Schaefer of Augusta, Kan.

Karma Smith-Grindell of Colorado Springs, Colo.

Jennifer Spangler of Overland Park, Kan.

As associates, they meet monthly with other associates and sisters, participate in the prayer life of the congregation and attend retreats, assemblies and celebrations of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia.

Sisters Janet Lander and Jean Befort led Saturday’s ceremony.

For more information on the CSJ Associate program, contact:

Sister Jean Befort at jeanbefort@sbcglobal.net

or Sister Janet Lander at janetmarycsj@yahoo.com

or go to www.csjkansas.org/about/associates/

March 5, 2010: All generations can benefit from ‘unconditional respect,’ by Crystal Paredes

“I treat others how they treat me.”  So said a young man I know when asked recently about his thoughts on respect.

I questioned him, even going so far as correcting what I thought might have been an error.  I hoped he meant, “I treat others how I want to be treated.”  We all know this is the golden rule.

He was quick to respond that he meant what he said the first time.

Quite honestly, in my work over the last 10 years with young men and women, I am seeing more of a generation gap when it comes to the topic of respect.

The general rules that apply to my generation and those older are that you show respect for your elders. You also show respect for certain positions (police officers and teachers, for example) even if you dislike the person. These rules have worked well for generations.

As a child, I showed respect knowing someday I would grow to an age where others would show me respect and maybe hold a position where I could demand it.

Here’s the rub: The younger generations are being taught that in order to get respect you must give it. I know this because I have taught it to many.  It is a great concept and one intended to teach children to make the first move in showing respect, but they don’t always do that.

In addition, a problem occurs when concepts such as “respect must be earned” are floating around to muddy the water.

The older generations are expecting respect and sometimes demanding it and if not given, judgment on the younger generation is quickly doled out.   The younger generation is waiting to be shown respect, even when they are the ones in the wrong.  They are looking for that example from adults first because they have been taught that respect must first be given in order to be received.  When it isn’t first given or it hasn’t been earned in their estimation, they then have a logical excuse to not give any back.  Thus, “I treat others how they treat me.”

Is it starting to make your head swim a little?  It does mine.  Here is my suggestion.

Several years ago, I was introduced to the concept of “unconditional respect” through the book “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  This is a book for married couples but the concept of unconditional respect could be translated to all mankind.

It’s not an easy concept because it is so foreign in our culture.

What is unconditional respect?  It is the ability to treat each other respectfully without conditions: without preconceived expectations, without debating if the person has earned it or not, without judging age, race, social status, disability, etc.

If we could each implement this concept in our own lives first by way of our facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, and the words/actions we choose, we could role model it for future generations.  Our social climate would rapidly improve.

Starting today, I will show respect to everyone I meet regardless of their age, no matter how they have wronged me, whether respect is returned, and even if I fail to agree with them or the choices they make — not because of who they are but because it is who I am.  I will show respect to everyone in order to show reverence to God for each life he has created.

— Crystal Paredes is the Children’s Minister at First Christian Church in Concordia. She also works with the Domestic Violence Association of Central Kansas.

New community garden almost ready to get growing

Organic gardening is not a new idea, but it is one growing in popularity as consumers become more concerned about the safety of their food and care of the earth.

That was the message Thursday evening from Steven Mitchell, the organic gardener for the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia and one of the organizers of the new organic community garden that will open this spring on the northeast corner of the Motherhouse property.

Thursday’s meeting also gave the community its first chance to sign up for the individual 12-by-46-foot plots. Anyone interested in signing up for a plot or learning more about the garden may call Cecelia Thrash or Sister Betty Suther at 243-4428.

Organizers hope to have the new garden ready to plant around the middle of April.

Before World War II, Mitchell told his audience Thursday, all farming was organic; the chemicals used today as pesticides and fertilizers actually grew out of wartime science.

By the 1970s, however, farmers and gardeners had started to worry about the effect those chemicals had both on the soil and the people who consumed the produce. Within a decade, he said, organic fruits and vegetables began to be available — but there were no standards defining what “organic” meant on a food label.

That changed with the federal Organic Food Production Act of 1990, which required that the USDA develop national standards for organic products. Today, those standards are administered by the National Organic Program.

In the Concordia Community Garden of Hope, Mitchell and the other organizers will work with gardeners to ensure that plots remain chemical-free while producing a strong yield of crops.

“To me, gardening is just small-scale farming,” Mitchell said, “and farming is taking care of the land while producing the best food possible.”

Thursday’s meeting was the first of a number of educational sessions planned to help people learn about organic gardening and specific gardening practices.

The next session at the Motherhouse auditorium will be at 7 p.m. March 24 when David Coltrain, who recently joined the staff of the Kansas State University Research and Extension River Valley District, will speak. Anyone interested in horticulture and home gardening is urged to attend.

Friday, March 5, 2010

There are only two ways to live — one is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as if everything is.

- Albert Einstein

Third Week of Lent

Louisiana Red Beans and Rice

1 cup red beans, washed and drained
3 cups of water
1 clove of garlic, chopped
1 rib of celery, chopped
2 T. parsley, chopped
1 large bay leaf, crushed
1 medium onion, chopped

Cook beans in water. Season with salt. When preparing this meal outside of Lent you may want to try seasoning with bacon drippings if you wish. Cook for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Add onion, garlic, celery, and bay leaf. Continue to cook over low heat for 30 minutes to 1 hour. If beans become too dry, add heated water. Two tablespoons of sugar improve the whole effect. Serve on mounds of rice. Serves 4.

Three practices for third week of Lent

Choosing not to engage in any form of gossip today contributes to harmony. Consciously choose to see the good in others rather than finding fault.

Jesus says “I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another.” (John13:34) Meditate on how Jesus has loved you… How then can you put that love into practice with those around you?

Mother Teresa implored us to “find someone who thinks he is alone and let him know that he is not.” Today do as Mother Teresa suggests.

« Previous Page — Next Page »