Annual camp: ‘A place where you feel God’s love’

When the “veterans” talk about what brings them back to the Junior CYO Camp at Rock Springs year after year, they don’t mention the horseback riding, canoes, volleyball, swimming pool, arts and crafts, Frisbee golf or even the spirited and spontaneous card games.

“It’s a place we can talk about God and our faith,” says a girl from Colby, Kan., at the Memorial Day weekend camp for the third time. “It allows me to really understand what it means to be Catholic, and I like that feeling.”

“We’re living our faith, our Catholicism, for a few days,” adds her friend across the dinner table, who then notes wistfully that they both have reached the age limit for campers. “But we’ll be back as counselors,” she notes with a smile.

That is a pattern Sister Barbara Ellen Apaceller has seen often in her 31 years as director of the annual camp for kids in grades six through nine that takes over Rock Spring 4-H Ranch, about 15 miles south and west of Junction City, Kan. At this year’s camp there are about 200 campers from throughout the Salina Diocese, plus another 25 of so high school seniors and college students who serve as counselors. Also on hand are a few Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia and several other older adults helping Sister Barbara Ellen with administering the entire event.

Most of the counselors are camp graduates.

Such is the case for Jed Smith of Abilene, who was a camper for four years and then a counselor for another 12. This year he couldn’t work out his schedule to make it 13 — but he showed up on Memorial Day, Monday, anyway, to lend his support and see if he could help out.

“I just couldn’t quit cold turkey,” he says with a laugh. “I had to come for at least one day, just to feel part of it.”

What started as a breezy conversation with two other counselors quickly deepens: “This camp is the closest to God I ever feel,” Jed says. “When I was in sixth-grade — my first year here — it was the first place I ever felt everyone loved me, just for who I am.”

“These kids can shine and be proud of their religion and their faith,” adds James Newman, a native of Hoxie, Kan., who now lives in Boston. He flew to Kansas Friday night to be here for the camp — his 20^th at Rock Springs, counting both 4-H and CYO. “It’s a part of everything we do, and they all know it’s OK, we love them.”

“It’s about acceptance,” adds Eileen Remley of Concordia, who now lives in Lawrence as a student at the University of Kansas. “God loves them exactly as they are, and we feel that here.”

Jed has the final word on the subject for now: “This is heaven; this is what I think heaven is like. It’s a place where you feel God’s love and you can form friendships unlike any other.”

This year’s camp has been marked by that kind of religious commitment and the accompanying maturity, say Sister Barbara Ellen and several of the other “veterans.”

“Top to bottom, campers to counselors, you can really feel it,” James Newman says. “We’re all having a good time, but we also know that’s only part of the reason we’re here.”

Among the counselors, Sister Barbara Ellen notes, “They’re really here for the kids. There have been some years when (the counselors) seemed to be more here for each other, but not this year.”

Sister Lois O’Malley, a Sister of St. Joseph of Wichita who has taken a break from college students at Kansas State University to help at the camp for the last six or seven years, agrees.

“It’s great to see these kids interact and really have fun,” she says as she looks out over the crowd gathering for lunch. “They create a bond through their faith, and that’s a wonderful thing to see.”

Bishop Paul Coakley and several diocesan priests were also in the crowd gathering outside the dining hall on Monday. The bishop had come to Rock Springs to spend a few hours, give a few encouraging remarks after lunch and chat with some of the campers and counselors, who included about half a dozen seminarians from throughout the diocese.

Not all of those were veterans, however.

Brian Lager, who grew up in Grinnell, Kan., west of Hays, and is now attending seminary in Denver, concedes that he was sent to the camp as a diocesan assignment. “I had to come,” he says with a laugh. “But now that they made me come once, I’ll be back if I can arrange it. These kids are special.”

The camp director couldn’t agree more.

“Just to be around these kids… they’re so firm in their faith and love of God,” says Sister Barbara Ellen, who serves as Director of Youth Ministry and Religious Education for the Salina Diocese. “With them I have no fear for the future of the Church.”

May 28, 2010: “Rich man, poor man,” by Connie Harrington

Hungry for him would be an understatement
Clothing for him is fortuitous
I see the rich man cries sometimes
Yet the poor man laughs once in a while
So why is the rich man always crying?
And the poor man is always smiling.

Is it luck, choice or just an accident
That the poor man can’t simply have a glass of water
But the rich man is complaining about his cheap wine
And wakes up to complain about his cold coffee
The poor man wakes up and thanks God for letting him see the light.

Rich man cries what to wear, the Gucci or Versace?
While the poor man picks up the same coat he used as a pillow last night
There goes the TV with the latest news
Off goes the poor man, to maybe find a newspaper someone threw away
Off goes the Blackberry like a school bell obnoxiously filling the inbox.

Oh maybe the poor will have some change left to make a phone call
After feeding his stomach that is growling like a beast
No change. No food thus no phone call
Is it luck or just an accident?
They say life is a roller coaster, well he must be stuck
Fairy tell, is what he hopes for.

His hope is what keeps him going
His faith is what keeps him strong,
The poor man prays every night,
That a miracle won’t take long.

— Connie Harrington is a student at Cloud County Community College.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

— Eleanor Roosevelt

May 21, 2010: Improving communication can prevent misunderstandings, by Kayla Valcoure

Nonviolent communication is essential to succeeding in life. Good communication skills are required for relating to peers, obtaining and retaining a job, and everything in between. In order to have nonviolent communication a person must be aware of their tone of voice and body language.

The way people present themselves during conversations conveys an unspoken message. If a person is standing with arms crossed or her hands are fisted, it shows she is upset. Also a person’s tone of voice can also convey fear, anger, disappointment, distain, and distrust. For effective communication a person must speak in a calm, controlled voice and remember that actions speak louder than words. Poor communication leads to misunderstandings of all sizes. Those misunderstandings can lead to name calling and other aggressive behaviors.

Another key factor in nonviolent communication is the ability to have good listening skills. Too often, a person can hear what is being said without actually listening. By paying attention we can listen for the real message. Good listening skills can also prevent misunderstandings.

We must be aware of how we present ourselves on a daily basis and remember that actions speak louder than words. Nonviolent communication, both in speaking and listening, can and will prevent some aggressive behaviors.

— Kayla Valcoure is the daughter of Anna LaBarge and Charlie Valcoure. She is a freshman at Concordia High School.

Open house welcomes ‘strangers’ to new center

Scores of people from throughout Concordia and Cloud County turned out for the first of two open houses at Neighbor to Neighbor Thursday afternoon and evening.

They had a chance to tour the new women’s center at 103 E. Sixth St., plus meet the three women who have been the driving forces behind the project, Sisters Jean Befort, Pat McLennon and Ramona Medina. Also as part of the open house, Roberta Lowery from the Concordia Chamber of Commerce organized an official ribbon cutting, while Father Jack Schlaf, chaplain for the Sisters of St. Joseph, led a short dedication and blessing ceremony.

As a surprise ending to the simple ceremony, Verleta Moon from the Catholic Thrift Shop, operated by Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church, presented Neighbor to Neighbor with a check for $5,000. That amount is expected to pay for utilities for the building for one year.

A second open house is scheduled for Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Refreshments will be served, and there will be a drawing for a door prize — a piece of original artwork by Sister Ramona.

Thursday evening, supporters, friends and people interested in learning more about the new center crowded into the renovated building throughout the afternoon and evening. Jan, Pat and Ramona explained the evolution of Neighbor to Neighbor and what programs will be offered and gave informal tours throughout the building. Those attending also had the chance to watch a photo slideshow that showed the complete renovation process and many of the volunteers who helped with the work.

Sister Marcia Allen, president of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia, which is sponsoring Neighbor to Neighbor, explained that the idea of serving “neighbors” — anyone with whom sisters come into contact and who needs help — dates to the foundation of the religious congregation in 1650 France. “We start out strangers, and by being with you, we become neighbors,” Marcia said. “Some 360 years later, the same approach applies.”

Neighbor to Neighbor is open Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., and on Thursday from 1 to 8 p.m. For information, you can call the center at 262-4215 or go to the sisters’ website at www.csjkansas.org/neighbor.

Messages Home: Quilt tells a story (& builds the village)

Sisters, Associates, Family and Friends:

My first full school year of tending to needs of the heart and hearth with military kiddos, families and staff in school settings within the Junction City/Fort Riley area is coming to an end. Since September 2009, two of my three rotations have involved beginning and ending the year by working between the same two off-post elementary schools, with the middle rotation involving work with military affiliated high schoolers  within Junction City High School.

In March, during my last session of Brat Chat with the Junction City High School military kiddos, each student designed a quilt block that depicted part of his or her story as a military kiddo.  Leona Flavin and Karin O’Reilly, my sis and niece, kindly offered to transform the blocks into a quilt designed and machine quilted by each respectively.  The end result for one of the walls within Junction City High School? A lovely quilt — a small snippet of visual history — that depicts the effect war and multiple deployments have upon teenagers and families who have a caregiver in and out of the battlefield; aka, down range.

The one block shows it all: “I love the Army; I love the USA; I hate the war.”  Other blocks in the quilt include issues related to  changing friends and schools; learning how to deal with the returning soldier/parent affected by the war; assuming the role of surrogate parent either by absence of the one parent; or inability of the remaining parent to tend and juggle the multiple levels of need in the household; and, the teenager re-directing personal anger related to the above.

I returned to my two original off-post elementary schools in March to support and assist kiddos, families, and staff in wrapping up the school year.

As you might guess, many of the staff in the school themselves are either current or retired military.  Many staff have spouses who are either deploying, returning or re-deploying.  Talk about a bus person’s holiday!  The stressors that occur within the existing educational systems are only one aspect of staff concerns when one is a military spouse working with military kiddos.  Enter myself and my colleagues who are present and available to  support and assist with matters of the heart throughout each day for whomever.

In the process of providing a special time with the elementary school kiddos during lunch time, volumes are shared.  A simple plastic tablecloth with a centerpiece placed on a table in the school library creates the special place to have lunch.  I  ask the same question of each lunch group each time: “What has changed in your life since the last time we met for lunch?”

Responses from the 6- to 13-year-olds in a mere 20 minutes might include:

• My Dad is home on R&R for two weeks. Having him home is like having the boom-a-rang come down from the roof. It is as if he never left, now that I see him again. Now when he goes again for a long time, I have to figure another way to imagine he is with me.
• Now that my Dad has gone, my Mom cries all night and I cannot get to sleep.
• I cannot sleep; afraid that (s)he will not return
• Both of my parents are in Iraq. My grandmother has moved from Texas until school is out to take care of me.
• When my dad returns to Iraq after his R&R I am afraid he will not come back, and I am afraid I will really have to be the “man of the house”.
• I do not understand how the Army can continue to take our Dads away over and over again without knowing how our families are having such a hard time without them.
• Just read a book today: INVISIBLE STRING; MEAN SOUP; NIGHT CATCH; THE BUCKET STORY, etc.
• I talk with Mom/Dad via email/webcam/phone. Some kiddos: daily; some 2x month, depending upon the assignment of the parent and the reception in the locale where the parent is located.  (I continue to create ways for the child to enhance the conversation and interaction with the absent parent, and also provide parents with options to do the same with the child: help with homework, share activities and homework, transmit cards, photos, care packages, etc.)

Responses to the question “What did you do special for your mother?” from this same age group following Mothers’ Day:

• Gave her the card made in school.  No gifts.
• Made breakfast in bed: from cold cereal to pancakes.
• Made all meals for Mom.
• Neighbors brought in a bouquet of flowers… Dad is deployed; children are young.
• Did my chores; and cleaned the house.

The village is large and includes many who continue to tend to the heart of those who are absent and those who are physically present. My sister and niece are a small part of the village as well.  They, too, are preparing for the September re-deployment of my grand-niece’s spouse. My grand-niece?  She is a teacher in the off-post middle school that is located less than one mile from one of “my”  elementary schools within the Junction City/Fort Riley area.

Do we really truly know our villages and our dear neighbors?

Loretta Jasper, csj

May 14, 2010: Nonviolent communication expands understanding and trust, by Patricia Gerhardt

As a member of the Concordia Year of Peace Committee, I agreed to write on “non-violent communication.” That would be easy.  I would simply write about “talking nice” and encouraging others to practice courtesy in their language with one another.

I would talk about how important it is to speak positively of others and refrain from putting others down or gossiping. Research out of Iowa State University has shown that “positive communication” is one of the top three qualities found in strong families. Plus, I would point out University of Washington’s Dr. John Gottman’s research that it takes a minimum of five positive comments to cancel out one negative put-down.

But in an effort to be thorough, I checked out what Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, the guru of nonviolent communication, has to say about the subject. It turns out nonviolent communication is simply speaking and listening with your heart.

Dr. Rosenberg’s explains the four stages of speaking in nonviolent communication:

1. Observation – Simply state what you saw or heard the other person do or say without passing any judgment or evaluation.

2. Feelings – Tell how that action or words made you feel. Again, do not blame the other person but simply state what you are feeling.

3. Needs – Explain how those actions affect your own needs.

4. Requests – Address what you want the other person to do.

Following that, you must listen — and that is much harder. The other person must have the freedom to express what he/she heard you say, how it made him/her feel, how it affects his/her needs and what he/she wants you to do. Your responsibility is to listen and respond appropriately. As someone wiser than I once said “God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we would listen twice as much as talk”.

While the nonviolent communication process written above seems to follow a set pattern, the steps of the pattern adapt and change to fit the situation. The important thing to remember is to communicate with compassion. It is all about thoughtful giving and receiving. It moves from a language of blame, coercion and threats to a language of understanding and trust.

As I thought through this method of communicating, it occurred to me that I’ve witnessed nonviolent communication in action — right here in Concordia Elementary School. Here’s how I observed a teacher using nonviolent communication:

First she stated what she was observing.  “I see several of you have not cleared your desktops like I asked.”

Then she stated her feelings. “This upsets me because it shows you were not listening.”

Next she stated her needs. “I need you to clear your desks so that we can move on to the next activity.”

Finally, she made her request. “Please put everything inside your desk or on the floor besides your desk.”

When the students complied, the teacher thanked them and the class moved on to the next activity.

Using nonviolent communication techniques helps us to connect with one another in a positive way that encourages growth. It helps us adjust how we express ourselves and listen to others so that we encourage respect, empathy and true understanding. It’s not an easy process or one that any of us will completely accomplish all the time. But if more of us would communicate in this way, think of what the outcome would be. I encourage you to join me in making nonviolent communication a goal for 2010 — Concordia’s Year of Peace — and beyond.

— Patricia Gerhardt, a member of the Year of Peace committee, is a Family Consumer Sciences extension agent for Kansas State University — River Valley Extension District.

Bishop thanks sisters with Appreciation Mass, dinner

By Doug Weller, The Register

(Republished by permission)

SALINA, Kan. — More than 60 women religious were guests of honor at a Mass  of appreciation May 12 at Sacred Heart Cathedral and luncheon at the Hall of Bishops.

For Sister Bernadine Pachta, it was a memorable event.

“I was most struck by all of it,” she said. “This was an exceedingly  lovely event.”

Now the archivist for the Sisters of St. Joseph in Concordia, Sister  Bernadine was based on the East Coast for about 20 years and only recently has had the  opportunity to attend the diocesan gathering.

“It was a lovely Mass, and I felt it was special to have so many  priests present,” she said. “And of course the meal was superb.”

She added she was pleased “that there is a special day for us.”

Bishop Paul Coakley celebrated the Mass, with Bishop Emeritus George  Fitz simons and 14 priests concelebrating. A deacon and two  seminarians also took part. Serra Club of Salina, whose focus is supporting vocations, served the  meal.

“This Mass of appreciation in your honor is an expression of our  appreciation and gratitude,” Bishop Coakley said in his homily. Just as the Apostles received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, the Holy  Spirit was with the founders and foundresses when they established  their religious orders, Bishop Coakley said. The nine days between Jesus’ Ascension and the descent of the Holy  Spirit at Pentecost is a time “to reflect on how attendant we are to  the Spirit,” he said.

“The struggle we have is how is the Spirit working in our lives. We  have to be open to the Spirit in order for it to be effective and to  take root and bear fruit,” the bishop said.

Sister Bernadine was among 51 members of the Sisters of St. Joseph of  Concordia in attendance; theirs is the only religious community based  in the diocese.

But also represented at the Mass and luncheon were  three members of the Sisters of St. Agnes, based in Fond du Lac, Wis.,  four from the Dominican Sisters of Peace of Columbus, Ohio, and four  from the Missionary Sisters of the Eucharistic Heart of Christ the  King, based in Mexico City.

EWTN to air ‘Interrupted Lives’ documentary

“Interrupted Lives: Catholic Sisters Under European Communism,” the award-winning documentary based on the research of two Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia, will be broadcast on EWTN beginning this weekend. (To go the the “Interrupted Lives” web site, CLICK HERE.)

The one-hour documentary that received a 2010 Gabriel Award will be aired Sunday and Monday (May 16 and 17) in Europe, and then June 17 and 19 in England. American viewers will be able to see it on EWTN in August.

John Elson, director of program acquisitions and co-productions for EWTN, said “the history and heroism” of the stories told in “Interrupted Lives” make it significant for EWTN viewers.

“Documentaries like ‘Interrupted Lives’ that present the story of individuals who have made great sacrifices for the Faith — even to the point of death — force each viewer to ask the question, ‘Why did they die?’” Elson said. “The consideration of that question and these examples of heroic witness” may lead people to a deeper appreciation of the people who suffered, and to the Church.

Elson noted that EWTN — the world’s largest religious media network, airing 24 hours a day to more than 148 million homes in 144 countries and territories — has broadened its programming in the past three or four years. “We’re trying to tell different stories,” he said, “that present the truth about the Faith in different historical periods and that recount the lives, spirituality and sacrifices of various Catholic individuals.”

To that end, potential programming is reviewed by a group of theologians — all of whom saw the “power and importance” of the story told in “Interrupted Lives,” Elson said.

The documentary was written and produced by Judy Zielinski, a Sister of St. Francis of Sylvania, Ohio, was aired nationally as part of ABC’s “Vision and Values” series in September 2009.

It is based on more than 10 years of work by Sisters Mary Savoie and Margaret Nacke, both members of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Concordia, who first went to Romania in 1993 as volunteers to help the Church in Eastern Europe after the fall of communism. Over the next decade in many visits, they branched out to other Eastern European countries and built relationships with many of the sisters who had survived behind

In 2003, Sisters Mary and Margaret, who live in Belleville, Kan., began serious research into the plight of those Catholic Sisters, eventually covering eight countries and the years spanning the rise of Stalin in Russia to the fall of the Berlin Wall. That included numerous trips to Eastern Europe, interviews with the women they came to call “Sister Survivors” and extensive academic study into the local and Church history.

In July 2006, they planned and facilitated a conference in Lviv, Ukraine, bringing together sisters from eight former communist countries. The goal was to examine fundamental values guiding those sisters who survived under communism and to explore ways those values can be integrated into the lives of American sisters.

As a result of the work done by Sisters Mary and Margaret, hundreds of testimonies, photographs, books and other documents have been collected and archived at Catholic Theological Union’s Bechtold Library in Chicago.

It was also in 2006 that Sisters Mary and Margaret hired NewGroup Media of South Bend, Ind. — which is where Sister Judy Zielinksi works as a writer and producer — to create a documentary of the story of the Sister Survivors.

A team from NewGroup, including Sister Judy and photographer Lynn King, and Sisters Mary and Margaret traveled together to Eastern Europe. During that first trip, they interviewed and videotaped 42 Sister Survivors, and would eventually return for more interviews and taping.

Since the documentary’s release last September, Sisters Mary and Margaret have continued showing it around the country and have scheduled other educational programs to tell the stories of the Eastern European sisters.

In the United States, EWTN will air “Interrupted Lives” (all times listed as Eastern Standard Time) on Aug. 15 at 2 a.m., Aug. 18 at 1 p.m. and Aug. 21 at 2 p.m.

Staff, sisters celebrate National Nursing Week

The nursing staff joined the Sisters of St. Joseph for pizza Tuesday evening, to celebrate National Nursing Week and to thank staff members for the work they do all year.

Director of Nursing Alfreda Maley served as emcee. She said that this year’s Nursing Week theme — “Caring Today for a Healthier Tomorrow” — is particularly apt for the staff at the Motherhouse. “We want to help every sister have a healthier tomorrow,” she said.

She also noted that the week of recognition begins on May 6, National Nurses Day, and continues through May 12, the birthday of Florence Nightingale, the 19th century English woman who is considered the founder of modern nursing.

Each year the Motherhouse celebrates National Nursing Week with a recognition ceremony, but this was the first time it included a pizza party. Staff members were recognized for their service, and then the presented flowers to those sisters who have served in nursing fields as well as the congregation’s Leadership Council.

At the end of the simple ceremony, Sister Beth Stover — a former hospital administrator — led the sisters in a song of blessing for Alfreda Maley.

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