Eulogy for Sister Sharon Hayes, CSJ

August 31, 1945 – May 10, 2026

By Sister Marcia Allen, CSJ

Eulogy for Sharon Hayes

“Finally, what is God asking? Is it consecration I have craved… a clear visible connection? I have known in my heart I have always been CSJ. I have always had a vocation to a community and to God.”

With these words, Sharon summed up the story of her journey to the Agrégée vocation within this Concordia Community of St. Joseph.

Sharon Hayes was born in Denver, Colorado, to Dorothy B. Catlett and Jack L. Hayes on August 31, 1945. She was the first of five children: John L, Mary, who died in infancy, Marilyn Hayes Albrecht (who was our faithful companion during Sharon’s final days), and Michael P. Hayes (who preceded Sharon in death). Sharon described her childhood and youth as a time of seeking God during an “interesting era of the Church.” She had a taste of the pre-Vatican church and then lived “out the other side of Vatican II.” She attended Mass frequently and was inspired by her mother’s and grandmother’s devotion to prayer, especially the rosary. As an adult, she served on her parish church council and sang in the choir. Her motive always circled around her love of people. She had embarked on a solid profession in the medical field, made strong friendships, and loved to travel. In 1997, she and friends went to France, and she made her way to Le Puy. This was a high point in her life because it was the place where she felt the strength of the CSJ charism and spirituality in a special way.

Sharon spent her professional career in nursing, with a particular interest in bioethics. Her former novice director and life-long friend, S. Rosemary Flanagan, a bioethicist herself, described her career in these words:

She quotes a consulting physician with whom Sharon had worked. Dr. Robert Potter described her work as one of “reconciling love.” At the time, they were working in a hospital, and Sharon was an associate with Rosemary and Dr. Potter at the Center for Practical Bioethics. The physician testified that Sharon always chose projects that were directed to the care of the poor and vulnerable, always focused on ‘creating an environment which [was] conducive to warm and sincere interpersonal relationships, prayerful and reflective living and generous service to others.” She worked tirelessly in a Kansas City, KS hospital that catered primarily to the poor, the homeless, the mentally unstable, and the recalcitrant. When she retired, she continued to minister to those who were most needy. She volunteered as a nurse-at-home, which enabled a person to die in their home surrounded by loving care. She would rally doctors to assist her through adequate pain medication and assist in the care of a patient until the end. S. Flanagan ended her testimony to Sharon with a description that truly mirrored Sharon’s life: “She has a deep love of the charism, a steadfast desire to live the CSJ heritage, and an indefatigable nature to work to the fullest to let God’s grace in her reach out to the dear neighbor.” Yes! That was Sharon. She was open, receptive, simple and sincere, determined and very honest, able to articulate what she was thinking and quick to express her feelings. She took social issues seriously and was always willing to discuss them openly, and often able to move to the point of working directly to solve them, especially when they pertained to the medical field. She was an excellent diagnostician and quick to respond in emergencies with effective measures.

Underneath this remarkable, successful professionalism was Sharon’s deep desire for a much deeper relationship with God. She was always seeking. Being familiar with the Sisters of St. Joseph, she entered the novitiate at Carondelet in 1965. She remained there in formation and then moved into the nursing field. She formed deep and lasting friendships with members of the Carondelet community. Yet she left that community, not because of the community but because, as she stated several times, she needed to know herself more clearly within the immediacy of her longing for God. She eventually joined the Associates of Carondelet.

It was through this relationship that she found herself at an End-of-the-Year retreat given by one of the Concordia Sisters of St. Joseph. The theme of the retreat was the spirit and spirituality of the charism and mission of Communities of St. Joseph. This led her to seek out S. Linda Straub, who had founded the Bearers of the Tradition Institute in Concordia in July 2004. S. Linda was able to talk about learning of the Agrégée form of membership in the 17th-century communities. Her interest intensified,, and in 2009, she attended the two-week “Falling in Love for a Lifetime” program at Concordia. She said that she went to that retreat with two objectives: 1) to know all I could about our shared beginnings and 2) to understand the concept of agrégée. I wanted to know how it “fit” in its old form and how would that integrate in today’s community life? And what, within the historical information, would support such a life today?

Regarding her discernment about what she learned during the retreat, she said that she knew shortly after attending this event that it was the way she was to live out the rest of her life. It would be in full membership and in the spirituality that drew me in my youth. She reiterated her long-held desire: that this life would provide the opportunity or “a deeper spiritual life and the discipline to grow in that spirituality.” That Carondelet had no such program was painful for her; however, she was finally able to decide to enter the Agrégée orientation at Concordia, knowing it shared the same charism and that she would always be connected to Carondelet. Interestingly, in June of 2010, she said that she believed that one day “Carondelet and many other communities in the federation would have this vocation available to those who believe they are called in this manner. The purpose for our existence and the spirituality that underpins that purpose are the same.” Considering that this step would look like a separation from her treasured past, she said: [When we who entered the novitiate at Carondelet shared our journeys], “I realized that we share common threads within the same fabric!” This made my decision less painful. I was ready to come to Concordia!

The rest is history, as they say. Sharon was received in Concordia on January 1, 2010, began her orientation with S. Carm Thibault as her mentor, and was joined in her final months of orientation by Jan McCormick, who was also finishing her orientation. On June 2, 2011, the two of them made their Vow of Fidelity. Sharon continued her life as she had lived it, but with much more confidence in her path within a company of support and friendship. For several years, she cared for Sandy, her friend and peer in the medical field, during Sandy’s struggle with cancer and death. After Sandy’s death, she moved to Colorado to be closer to her family. She continued to serve as she could and attended community events and conversations via Zoom while enduring her own failing health.

On May 2nd, we learned that a couple of days earlier, Sharon had suffered a fall, hitting her head. She maintained that she did not have a concussion, so she continued without a professional medical examination.  Finally, when her headache did not subside, she went to the Emergency Room and was admitted to a hospital in Denver, Colorado.  She was found to have developed a serious brain bleed, and though she fought mightily to live, she died on Saturday, May 9th, 2026. She asked that her cremains be scattered through the mountains. The family will have a private service at a later date, and they thank us for our prayers and support.

To the end, her love for the Carondelet Community ran deep. About Concordia,, she said it was a means for her re-entry into the CSJ world in an intimate way. Here she found “deeply spiritual women who touched into her own yearning. Her Agrégée commitment was more than membership; it was fostering/nurturing a deeper relationship with God, something she yearned for.

She ended her own story with these words: “There is something that Karl Rahner said, which has stayed with me: ‘Letting oneself be grasped by the mystery which is present and yet always withdrawing itself.’ If I can ‘live my life with one desire only, to be what God wants me to be, in nature, grace and glory, in time and in eternity’ (Maxim 73) then that is enough.”

Thank you, Sharon, for your testimony in words and in life to our vocation as a Community of St. Joseph.